Russell Up Some Fun/Transcript
:Russell: (testing some squeaker toys) Loud, loud, soft, loud, soft, loud, broken... :Pepper: A-da-na-na-na whoo! A-da-na-na-na hit me! A-da-na-na-na over here! :Russell: STOP! You could poke someone's eye out with that! :Other pets: Boo! :Pepper: Seriously? :Russell: Yes. I'm confiscating this. :Pepper: Oh, come on, Russell. It's a gag rubber arrow. We're just having a little fun! :Well, you know what they say, "Safety first... then fun." :Heh. Where'd you get that from? :Right here, in the Guidebook to Following Proper Safety Procedures while Engaging in Fun. "Safety first... then fun." :Oh, boy. Come on, Vinnie, let's go find something "safe" to do, hm? :Here, now it's safe to use this. :[ Theme Song ] :Downtown City Park is my second favorite place to be! ( sniffs ) Mmm. The food-y smells, the green grass, the energy, the-- :Humidity?! I just had my hair flat-ironed, and now it's on high-frizz red alert. :( heavy breathing ) :Ow! :Oh, wow, Blythe, my bad. I was in the zone, you know, with track tryouts coming up... :She's a shoe-in for the backwards marathon. :BLYTHE: Well, I'm always glad to run into you, Sue. But not this way. :Oh, look at me. I'm a mess! But you look great. :Are you serious? You've been working out. Look, I live just over there. Come over and get cleaned up. :Cool. :( both giggling ) :( toy squeaks ) :( squeaking ) :( both laughing ) :( giggling ) :Guh! Messy, messy, MESSY! Organized beds ensure quality nap time. That's my motto. Yeah, I may need to get a better motto. :( suspenseful theme playing ) :Aah! Who is responsible for this?! :( both laughing ) :These things ooze bacteria! :Oh, lighten up, Rusty, we're just havin' some fun with ya! :Excuse me for looking out for your well-being, and, I prefer Russell. :Ugh, why so serious all the time? :Yeah, we should call you Seri-ussell! Ha, Seri-ussell! :Ha, oh, oh, Vinnie! Oh, no you didn't! :( both giggling ) :( growling ) :SUE: Okay, Blythe, check it out! :BLYTHE: Way cute! My clothes are totally you. :They are? Thanks for letting me borrow 'em. :N.P. :Geez, Blythe, I wish I was more like you. Smart, funny, arty... You're, like, a lot of really cool things. :Oh, stop. You're cool too, you know. :Meh, enough about me. Let's talk more about you. What's your favorite color? And who's your favorite author? What do like more, cake or pie? And what kind of shampoo do you use? And, like, who do you think is cuter, Edward or Jacob? And, like, brown rice or noodles? :RUSSELL: Oversee operations? Check. Organize day-camp area? Check. Direct, delegate, disseminate? Check. Check checklist? Check. Double-check checking of checklist? Check. :Double-checking your checklist, Russell? :Check, Penny Ling. Hey, Penny Ling, can I ask you something off the record? :There's a record? :What? Anyway, uh, do you think I'm too, uh... serious? :Well, I don't know if "serious" is the best way to describe you. :Perhaps, intellectually aware? :No, uh, that's not it. Uh-uh. Instinctively committed? Ya know, maybe "serious" is the best way to describe you. ( sighs ) Well, Russell, you do take things very seriously. Like, remember the surprise party for Minka's last birthday? ( lively music playing ) ( inhales ) Those candles were a fire hazard, per code section 19-08, subsection "A" under "flammable waxy substances." Russell, we appreciate how you keep things safe and organized for us around here, but it wouldn't hurt for you to just relax once in awhile. I can relax! ( smoothly ): Hey. Whoa! Relaxing can hurt. JASPER: Hey, everybody, it's "Taco Tuesday!" You know what that means, don't ya? Tacos? Si. SUE: Hey, Blythe, remember how you said your clothes were totally me? Well, of course, you're right. So you don't mind if I keep 'em a little longer, do you? No prob. Keep 'em as long as-- BOTH: you'd like! Hope you guys are ready for the-- BOTH: big algebra test. Sue, you seem to be finishing all my-- BOTH: sentences with me. Okay. MRS. TWOMBLY: Attention, everyone. We have a new camper with us today! This is Mary Frances. ( excited chittering ) Sweeties, be careful. Stop trying to hog Mary Frances. Oh, ha, ha, ha! I said "hog." Ha, ha, ha, sometimes I crack me up. Welcome to Littlest Pet Shop, Mary Frances! You're gonna have a great time here. With a capital "grrr!" Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me. Hmm. I don't know how to spell the rest, but I know there's a lot of letters-- Okay, Minka, I'll take it from here. I'm Russell, your petshop guide, or "docent," if you will. Welcome to Littlest Pet Shops' day camp, Miss. Why, do I look like a "miss" to you? MARY FRANCES: Yeah, I know. My owners wanted a girl, but I'm not! Get it? ( oinks ) No, of course not! I mean, of course you're not a girl, anyone can see that. Why, you're strapping. Yes, strapping. Handsome, even. The facial hair makes that obvious. Lots! You're clearly not a girl. Mary. Good. Uh, now what time is, uh, grub served up around here? Soon enough. But first, step right this way, miss...ter, uh, Mary Frances. We have a little questionnaire for you to fill out. It's part of Littlest Pet Shop's "get to know you better" strategy. Eczema. Mmm-hmm. What type of athletic endeavors do you pursue? Hi, Bly! Oh, hey, Sue. You know, Blythe, you're so perfect. I was wondering if you could give me some tips. BOTH: Be perfect? But, Sue, I'm totally not-- BOTH: Perfect. Yes, you are! I mean, even the way you put gravy on your mashed potatoes is perfect. So, I like tidy mashies. PEPPER: Ooh, look who it is, Captain Serious from the planet "No Joke," preparing for take-off! I don't even understand what that means. ZOE: Nor do I, but we're just trying to find new and inventive ways to say, "Hello, Russell, you're way too serious." Are you mocking me? VINNIE: No! No, no, no, no, no... Yes. We just think you need to relax and let your hair down. Let my hair down? Not gonna happen. I paid good money for this product! Russell, buddy, what Zoe's trying to say is that you need to chillax. MINKA: Yeah, a little fun and relaxation never hurt anyone! Whoa! Hit it, Vinnie! ( cha-cha music playing ) ( all humming ) Gah! I can have a good time! I can chillax! Whatever that means. I'll show them. I'll be so much fun, they won't know what to do with me... Right after I do this. ( whistling ) Hi, Russell. Urch! Beep, beep, beep. Russell? Aloha, Blythe. Oh, and it's "Fun Russell." Really? Well, that sure is a wild shirt you've got on, Fun Russell. Thanks, it's all part of my new persona. Everyone sees me one way and I want them to see me another! Hence the shirt. Why does everyone suddenly want a new persona? A "Seri-ussell" might have asked you to use your inside voice, but not Fun Russell! So, let me get this straight. You're saying the key to everyone seeing you in a different way is your shirt? Yes. Hmm. That little ex-serious hedgehog may be on to something. Hey, Sue. You're really looking like-- Blythe! Hi, guys. Blythe! Uh, your outfit... It's-- It's so-- Completely lame and so not perfect? WHITNEY: I can't believe I'm saying this, and I'll deny it if anyone asks, but there's just two words to describe your outfit: A-may-zing. ( excited chatter ) Blythe, you did it again. Perfect. ( zany theme playing ) ( laughing ) Woo-hoo! Yeah! Hey, Russell. Um, what are you doing? Please. It's "Fun Russell." And can't ya tell? Hmm, not really. I'm havin' fun! I'm Fun Russell, ha, ha, ha! Uh, who was that? I'm not really sure. Here, Pepper. Uh, thanks, Russell. It's "Fun Russell." And let's raise the stakes! PEPPER: Uh, hey, whoa! Ha, ha, ha! ( airhorn blasting ) Arrgh! ( laughing maniacally ) ( bell ringing ) Ugh, this will be my first tardy ever. I sure hope this works. Where's Blythe? She's never tardy. Blythe Baxter? Is Blythe in school today? I'm here, Mr. Banks. Yep, I'm tardy. ( yawns ) I guess I just wasn't "mentally ready" to show up on time. Ugh, these things happen when you're not perfect. Guess I'm in big trouble now, right, Mr. Banks? Hmm. Not at all, Blythe. I think a mental break at this time of day can be a very healthy thing. What the huh? Everyone, let's all take a mental break. ( shouting and laughing ) RUSSELL: Isn't this fun? ( laughing ) Ha, ha! ( giggling ): Almost too much fun. Ahh! Woo-hoo! Ha, ha, ha! Food fight! ( shouting and laughing ) Where's a pig gotta go to get a little peace and quiet? BOY: Hey, Blythe! JASPER: What's wrong? Ugh, this day is the worst. Problems? Yeah, Sue! I don't know how to make her stop imitating me. She's copying everything I do. She's even finishing-- BLYTHE & JASPER: My sentences. Yeah, we noticed. She thinks I'm perfect. So I thought I would show her how imperfect I am. But every time I try to be bad at something, it backfires. I just can't seem to do anything wrong. Well, there's gotta be something you're really bad at. There's lots of things, but one will definitely get through to Sue! Gotta run! ( dance music playing ) PENNY LING: Russell! Russell-- I mean, Fun Russell! We have a big problem! Let me guess, you want me to be even more fun Russell. No! Mary Frances is missing! Yeah, missing all the fun. Stop it, Russell. He's missing, as in he's gone! Flew the coop! Took a powder! Did a four-oh-four! So? What do you want me to do about it? We need "Seri-ussell" to help us find Mary Frances before her-- I mean, his owner comes back! There's no Seri-ussell in the hiz-house. Only Fun Russell. Woop, woop. Whoa! Well, everybody, it looks like we're on our own. ( grunting ) Hi, Sue! What are you doing here? Oh, just tryin' out for track. Something I'm really good at. Thanks, but you don't have to do this. I heard what you said to Jasper and Youngmee. You did? I got so carried away with trying to be like you, when I really just needed to work on being me. But not even. 'Cause you're already great just the way you are. Thanks, Blythe. So, are we cool? Yep! Let's get a mocha frostie when you're done. Blythe Baxter, you're next. Uh, no thanks coach. I'm good. Uh, yes. Then you're next. Let's go! Gah. Wow, this fun stuff is exhausting. MINKA: Russell, Mary Frances is still missing! ZOE: We've looked everywhere for that rude pig, but it's as if he's disappeared into thin air. I know what's going on. You guys want me to stop being "Fun Russell," so you can go back to having a laugh at my expense. But I'm not gonna do it. We were wrong, Russell, and we're sorry! We liked you just the way you were. W-We need serious Russell back to help us find Mary Frances. Please say you'll help. ( sobs ) ( sighs ): This is too much. All right, listen up. Ironically, Mary Frances is a big football fan. So, Vinnie, you and Sunil look through the pet toys area, paying close attention to the squeaky football section. Mary Frances suffers from a mild case of eczema. So, Zoe and Minka, investigate the creams and ointments aisle, in case he's gone searching for itch-relief. Mary Frances likes to lay on cold floors. So, Pepper, you check the broom closet, and, Penny Ling, you check the rest room. Nice to have you back, Russell. Nice to be back, Penny Ling. And that leaves one place left to check. Uh, w-w-what do I do? Just run as fast as you can, and when you run out of dirt, jump. Uh, sounds easy enough... Oof! Blythe, did you hurt anything? ( coughing ) Just my pride. See, I told you I wasn't perfect. N-E-C: not even close. ( whistle blows ) Sue Patterson, you're up next. Hey, Sue, don't do what I did. Ha, ha, this time I won't. ( suspenseful theme playing ) That's a school record! You're so great! You've just made the varsity team, Sue. Heh, heh. Did you hear that? I made varsity! Of course you did. You were perfect. Yeah, I guess I was. You're so great! Just as I suspected. Trail of food... dark, quiet place to eat it. ( snoring loudly ) ZOE: I, for one, rejoice at the return of original Russell. ( all cheering ) It sure is great to have you back, Rusty, uh, Russell, I mean Russell. You know what? You can call me Rusty. I kinda like it. But do you like this? ( all laughing ) RUSSELL: Oh, come on! Someone's definitely going to poke an eye out! Hey, Russell. Why'd you lose the shirt? Eh, wasn't my style. Anyway, we all decided that original Russell was perfectly fine the way he was. So does that mean Fun Russell is gone for good? I'd say so. But, "Slightly Less Serious and More Easy Going" Russell might visit from time to time. Category:Season 1 transcripts